The Average Cyborg Merchandise

I am very excited to announce that The Average Cyborg now has its own merchandise! 


There's T-shirts, mugs, notebooks, bags and a whole range of other fun stuff. To check it out click the link below! 

- the-average-cyborg-girl


The Average Cyborg has been undergoing some changes, I'm not completely finished but I hope you like the new look.  I feel like its a lot more open and hopefully clearer.

New Post in the works! Check back soon! :)

- the-average-cyborg-girl 

When You Feel Completely Different To Other Humans

"What's the machine?" the nurse asked me as I sat on the white chair in the pathology room. I paused for a second, "What machine?" I said. There was another little silence before I realized what she was talking about. My little machine, the black bag sitting on my hip, I have become so used to it that sometimes I feel like its not even there, mostly other people pretend that my MVAD isn't there as well (which I appreciate) I told the nurse what "the machine" was while she took blood from my bruised, green coloured vein on my right arm.

Its not a particularly normal thing to plug yourself into the power point on the wall at night or have wires sticking out of your stomach that go into a little box which pumps your heart. It feels pretty normal for me now, even when I dream I have my MVAD. I have never met another person with an LVAD (the older version of my device) outside of a hospital setting and there's only one other person in Australia with a MVAD and two more in the world. You can see why it makes me feel a bit different.

"I see you're still playing music on your Walkman." someone told me yesterday. I smiled and gave a small laugh but inwardly thought, 'That's right I almost forgot, I'm different.' It was alright, I didn't mind and I knew he was just using humor to try and make me feel better but I still couldn't help feeling that I wished he hadn't brought it up. Yesterday morning I was changing my battery, I had taken the MVAD out of the bag and placed it on the kitchen bench. The wire was stretched out a bit making it look obvious that it was attached to my stomach, I took off the battery and replaced it with a new one, just as the buzz sounded telling me that it was now connected my younger brother's friend walked in. He said good morning and acted like I was pouring milk onto my cereal or cutting up a banana for pancakes or doing something completely ordinary like normal people do before breakfast. I felt thankful for this.

I've been thinking about doing this blog post for a little while now (sorry its so late!) and in my musings I have remembered something, we all feel out of place or different sometimes - its not just me. This is obvious I know but for some reason I've found that I've forgotten it. We all have times where we feel like we don''t fit in or are nothing like everyone else, in fact I almost felt it far more before I got my MVAD. Before my MVAD I was so tired all the time and became very shy and withdrawn, now I feel like I have more energy to make friends and talk to other people.

There is something about humans which makes us want to be accepted by the group, to fit in with everyone else and not be seen as "weird" or too different. I'm not really sure why this is, it probably goes along the lines of a strange survival instinct that makes sure we don't get carried off my woolly mammoths or something, whatever it is, we as members of the human race want to feel acceptance.

And there is nothing wrong with that.

What's wrong is feeling that our value and our worth have in some way decreased because of our differences.

 I may have a MVAD device and carry around extra batteries and a recharger I can plug into the car in my backpack but in the end of the day, who really cares? I'm still me. I think that if we don't feel like everybody else, if we have something that sets us apart we should learn to make it a strength and not see it as a negative. Having a MVAD makes me thankful for the little things, I have much more energy now, I actually like to eat food and walking and getting up in the morning are incredibly easier. What I have is a strength if I allow it to be.

- the-average-cyborg-girl