The Average Cyborg Merchandise

I am very excited to announce that The Average Cyborg now has its own merchandise! 


There's T-shirts, mugs, notebooks, bags and a whole range of other fun stuff. To check it out click the link below! 

- the-average-cyborg-girl


The Average Cyborg has been undergoing some changes, I'm not completely finished but I hope you like the new look.  I feel like its a lot more open and hopefully clearer.

New Post in the works! Check back soon! :)

- the-average-cyborg-girl 

When You Feel Completely Different To Other Humans

"What's the machine?" the nurse asked me as I sat on the white chair in the pathology room. I paused for a second, "What machine?" I said. There was another little silence before I realized what she was talking about. My little machine, the black bag sitting on my hip, I have become so used to it that sometimes I feel like its not even there, mostly other people pretend that my MVAD isn't there as well (which I appreciate) I told the nurse what "the machine" was while she took blood from my bruised, green coloured vein on my right arm.

Its not a particularly normal thing to plug yourself into the power point on the wall at night or have wires sticking out of your stomach that go into a little box which pumps your heart. It feels pretty normal for me now, even when I dream I have my MVAD. I have never met another person with an LVAD (the older version of my device) outside of a hospital setting and there's only one other person in Australia with a MVAD and two more in the world. You can see why it makes me feel a bit different.

"I see you're still playing music on your Walkman." someone told me yesterday. I smiled and gave a small laugh but inwardly thought, 'That's right I almost forgot, I'm different.' It was alright, I didn't mind and I knew he was just using humor to try and make me feel better but I still couldn't help feeling that I wished he hadn't brought it up. Yesterday morning I was changing my battery, I had taken the MVAD out of the bag and placed it on the kitchen bench. The wire was stretched out a bit making it look obvious that it was attached to my stomach, I took off the battery and replaced it with a new one, just as the buzz sounded telling me that it was now connected my younger brother's friend walked in. He said good morning and acted like I was pouring milk onto my cereal or cutting up a banana for pancakes or doing something completely ordinary like normal people do before breakfast. I felt thankful for this.

I've been thinking about doing this blog post for a little while now (sorry its so late!) and in my musings I have remembered something, we all feel out of place or different sometimes - its not just me. This is obvious I know but for some reason I've found that I've forgotten it. We all have times where we feel like we don''t fit in or are nothing like everyone else, in fact I almost felt it far more before I got my MVAD. Before my MVAD I was so tired all the time and became very shy and withdrawn, now I feel like I have more energy to make friends and talk to other people.

There is something about humans which makes us want to be accepted by the group, to fit in with everyone else and not be seen as "weird" or too different. I'm not really sure why this is, it probably goes along the lines of a strange survival instinct that makes sure we don't get carried off my woolly mammoths or something, whatever it is, we as members of the human race want to feel acceptance.

And there is nothing wrong with that.

What's wrong is feeling that our value and our worth have in some way decreased because of our differences.

 I may have a MVAD device and carry around extra batteries and a recharger I can plug into the car in my backpack but in the end of the day, who really cares? I'm still me. I think that if we don't feel like everybody else, if we have something that sets us apart we should learn to make it a strength and not see it as a negative. Having a MVAD makes me thankful for the little things, I have much more energy now, I actually like to eat food and walking and getting up in the morning are incredibly easier. What I have is a strength if I allow it to be.

- the-average-cyborg-girl

Quote of The Week

inspiring quotes - Google Search:

This one sounds a little cheesy but I think there is a lot of truth in it. What would we really do if we forgot our preconceived ideas about who we are and what we can or can not do? I know that my life would be very different.

- the-average-cyborg-girl

Back On The Heart Transplant List (and some reflections)

Today I peeled back the silver foil of a tasty slab of dark, orange chocolate, snapped off a sizable chunk and melted it against the red flames that danced and swirled in the ash filled fireplace. As my fingers grew sticky I reflected upon my past two months in hospital.

 I reflected upon waking up in ICU with a strange little machine attached to a coloured wire that poked out of my stomach, I reflected upon my kidneys nearly failing and how I almost needed dialysis, I reflected upon my brother pushing me in a wheel chair to watch the fish swimming in their tank at the end of the hallway, I reflected upon the kindness of the Doctors and nurses and I reflected upon all the times I looked out my bedroom window at the Harbour Bridge and the Opera House and the sunlight glinting on a small sliver of blue water.

Staying six weeks in hospital was an interesting experience and it really did teach me a lot of things.

It was about a month before I was able to go outside in the wheel chair and sit in the park across the road. I'm the type of person who loves the outdoors so after being cooped up for so long the feeling of the beautiful sun and wind on my face was incredible. I have learnt to be grateful for everything and to see each moment as something wonderful.

It is two months since I had open heart surgery and received a "mechanical heart" (MVad) and four and a half weeks since I left the hospital. The time has gone by so slowly and so quickly that I can scarcely believe it. I am different now that I've had the surgery. I can breath on my back, walk around round with out feeling completely rubbish, eat food and do a whole lot of other fun stuff.

But now that I'm feeling better, something else has occurred...

* drumroll *

I'm back on the heart transplant list!



It is exciting but also pretty scary too

I don't know what else to really write for this post, to finish I've added a photo of me that I found on the Hospital's Facebook page.

(P.S, I'm the one with the long hair)

Thanks for reading another post from The Average Cyborg! :) Cya again next Wednesday

- the-average-cyborg-girl

Quote of the Week

This week's quote is from Albert Einstein

New blog post in the works for Wednesday, stay tuned! :) 

- the-average-cyborg-girl

I'm home from hospital! (And I got on television)

After six weeks I'm finally free! Hooray for sheep, flowers, fresh air and pet cats and time spent reading books by the fire. Being home is just the greatest, I feel so thankful for every little thing!

My new mechanical pump device thingy is kind of awesome and it was featured on the news (and I was on too!) 

I'm the girl with the long hair and black t shirt who looks really nervous. If you want to check it out, click the link below!

Now that I'm getting better I can post more. Stay tuned for new stories about living with a MVad, waiting to be put back on the heart transplant list and lots of Cardiomyopathy heart stuff. 

Thank you for stopping by The Average Cyborg, hope to see you soon :) 

- the-average-cyborg-girl

I have a " mechanical heart " (MVad)

Right now I'm sitting in a chair hooked up to an IV with a tub of half finished yogurt sitting before me in a hospital room. I have been here for almost six weeks and such a lot has happened. A little while ago I was put on the heart transplant list (I even made a post about it) but I only lasted three days before my sickness had progressed to such an extent that somthing had to be done.

I became more of a cyborg than ever

I am now the owner of a "mechanical heart"

I was the first in Australia and third in the world to be gifted one of these life saving devices.

LVads have been around for a while but these are smaller, easier to use and have a lot of upgrades. Its pretty cool with a touch screen and smiley faces and everything. A wire goes into my heart, comes out of my stomach and is attached to the controller and batteries.

When I'm out of hospital (hopefully soon!) I'll write more about my experiences and the amazing peice of technology which is the MVad.

Thank you so much for stopping by The Average Cyborg! When I feel a bit better and have escaped hospital regular posting will resume.


Organ Donation video

 I was searching for a quote to post today when I stumbled upon a beautiful video which I just had to share on The Average Cyborg.

This actually made me cry and holds such a wonderful message about the difference we can all make in the lives of others (plus it has a cute dog, what's not to love?)

- the-average-cyborg-girl

I Need A Heart Transplant

A week ago I sipped a bit of my strange tasting, lukewarm hot chocolate on a plumpy chair in a hospital waiting room and knew that something was different. I remember a time when I would look people in the eye and tell them I felt completely healthy, that despite my heart condition I was symptom free and strong. It's been awhile since those days. Simple things like climbing stairs, finishing dinner, walking around the shops and finding the energy to do anything other than read or sleep have become pretty hard. I knew my condition was getting worse, I just didn't know how bad it actually was.

So, as I waited with my unfinished, rapidly cooling beverage, I prepared myself for news which I guessed I probably wouldn't like and fixed my eyes on the brightly coloured fish getting their smudgy tank cleaned before me. 
I actually don't know how to begin this post, I've been trying for about a week or so but for some reason it's just not coming together. What I have to write about is difficult for me and has changed my life for ever.

I need a heart transplant

Life is a strange journey, you can plan as much as you like but sometimes things turn out completely different to what you imagined. It feels like things such as heart transplants or cancer happen to far away people on the edges of whispers or in books or in statistics on the internet, it could never come to me. 

but it does 

And when it does, I find that there is only one thing you can do, one thing to get you through...

That thing is hope

Its extremely difficult and sometimes not always achievable but as the saying goes "When there's life there's hope" and it's true. Hope lifts our eyes up from the shadows and shines a light that pierces through even the deepest darkness. 

The next couple of weeks are going to be full of health check-ups, adjusting to new medication and lots of uncertainty. During this time I want to take this blog in a slightly new direction. I've decided to use a lot of upcoming posts on The Average Cyborg to document my heart transplant journey. I will post updates on my health, write about check-ups, hospital visits and my experiences in recovery. I've also decided to post two times a week instead of three, every Wednesday and Saturday. 

I will post again on Wednesday and write something more substantial, at the moment I'm sitting in my leopard print pajamas with my cat curled on my lap and I feel the overpowering need to finish my book. 

Thank you for stopping by The Average Cyborg! 

- the-average-cyborg-girl 

Hello there readers

I haven't fallen off the face of the earth! (again)

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging lately, I've recently moved house, been battling an annoying flu which had me coughing up blood for the past two weeks and trying to keep my beloved kitten from throwing herself off our new very high roof. I'm on the mend now which means that The Average Cyborg is back in action. 

Let the party commence

Seeing that its Saturday here in Australia I thought I would begin by posting the quote of the week.

It’s by children’s author Dr Seuss

Got to love Dr Seuss  

So thanks for stopping by The Average Cyborg! Another post will be up on Tuesday. 

- the-average-cyborg-girl 

Happy Easter!

I hope everyone is having a good Easter holidays 

The Average Cyborg will be down for the holidays but posting will resume right afterwards. 

So check back soon with The Average Cyborg for your proper dose of chronic illness crazy :) 

- the-average-cyborg-girl

An Interview With Author Emily Rachelle Russell

I have a confession to make, there is another reason why a made a post about writing a couple of days ago. It is because of an exciting event which is about to take place... an interview will be conducted for the very first time on The Average Cyborg! The interview will be with the very talented young author, Emily Rachelle Russell. She is going to be talking about her new book of poems, Rain in December.

welcome! this is me.

Welcome to The Average Cyborg, first off could you tell us about yourself? 

Well, my official bio is that I'm a young author attending Taylor University, with some stuff about Indiana, biking, rain, and Netflix. But if you want to hear it from me, I'm "just a girl trying to find a place in this world." (Actually, that's Taylor Swift, but really she and her music probably qualify as at least 25% of my life.)

Could you describe Rain in December for us?

It's a simple collection of poetry, divided into four categories. Actually, a more accurate description which was almost the title would be "Love and the Weather." Haha, but honestly, about half the book is love poems. Then there's a small section of silly little pieces I wrote for school or friends. There's a category called "life," with some poems about animals and the weather and just general thoughts I wrote into poems. The book closes with the "darkness" section, which deals with the heavier, more serious poems. The very last poem in the book is where the book got its title -- it's called "Rain In December."

What inspired you to begin writing poetry? 

The very first time I remember writing a poem, I was in second grade and my family's homeschool group was making a little book of art and writing by the students on the topic of fall. I think I wrote one poem and one story for that book. I can remember the poem clearly and the story vaguely, and I can promise you they were both very, very bad. I was very, very proud of them. I didn't get seriously into writing of any sort until fourth grade, though. That was the year I went to public school, and I learned a lot about different forms of poetry, the components of a good story, that sort of thing. Then I moved to Japan, which was very emotional for me, and that's when my writing took off -- it was my channel and my outlet for everything. I wrote poetry, I wrote (bad and half-finished) books, I kept a journal. Once I hit high school, it was clear I was headed down a writing path that led to more than half-finished scribbles hiding in desk drawers.

Do you have any advice for anyone who wants to write poetry? 

My biggest piece of advice is to write from the heart. When someone wants to learn to write poetry, they study meter, alliteration, stanza, sonnets, metaphors -- all these things that are taught in schools and are excellent things to know and use. But if you want to write really great poetry, you have to start with emotion and just write whatever you're thinking or feeling in the moment, however it comes to you. The technical stuff can be learned later, once you've found a way to channel your heart into words on paper.

Do you have a writing routine that you used when creating Rain in December?  

Not at all! Actually, the poems in this book range from sixth grade through my last semester in college. I never really intended to publish them. That's how all my writing started -- just something for me to do, a way to express myself. Every once in a while, in high school, I entertained the idea of publishing a collection, but I had two major issues: one, most of the poems were too personal and I wasn't ready to share them; and two, I didn't think I had enough poetry to really make a whole book, anyway. Then, a conversation with my college roommate after writing "Rain In December" in class (I'm not the best student when I'm bored) led to me deciding it was just time. They say you don't just wake up one day and decide to publish a book, but honestly, that's kind of how it happened!

Is there a way to purchase Rain in December

Of course! It's available in paperback and Kindle on 

Could we have a tiny snippet of a poem from Rain in December

Well, there's a sample poem in the book information on the Amazon page, but here's an exclusive sneak peek just for The Average Cyborg readers:

are that attraction, that
which burns in the pit of your stomach
and ignites his eyes when he glances at you
and you know
he likes you too.
butterflies are beautiful,
delicate and sweet,
the best moment within a warm spring day.

but butterflies
also have
a crap lifespan.
they are designed for beauty,
not longevity.

                                                                                       -  from "theories on love"

That's great! Thanks so much Emily for including The Average Cyborg in your exciting blog tour! 

Thanks for hosting me! And to your readers -- don't forget to enter the multi-prize giveaway!

To find out how can can enter to win Rain in December, visit Emily's blog at 

A post about the incredible ego of my ten year old self and thoughts about my favourite occupation

I remember when I was ten years old I would sit through particularly boring days at school and dream about the paparazzi following me with their T.V cameras and microphones and desperate voices screaming for my autograph.

I was going to be famous when I grew up, well definitely by the time I reached twelve. I was going to be the greatest author the world had ever seen. After savoring just one brain exploding, life altering taste of my genius, the public would be filling their garbage bins with lesser works such as Dickens, Shakespeare and Austen. I closed my eyes and imagined one of my devoted fans feeding Tolkien's Lord of the Rings through a shredder.

The feeling was glorious

"Roald Dahl has nothing to me." I said with a snigger as I munched on the remains of a soggy cheese sandwich at lunch time.

After the school day had finally finished I rushed to my room and pulled out my current masterpiece

It was a story about a rat who didn't like getting out of bed to go to school in the morning and an evil plot to take over the world by turning all technology into cardboard. I knew that it was the best thing written for the past century, possibly ever. With a proud gleam in my eye, I began reading my masterpiece aloud.

" Once upon a time underneath the cluttersome, busy, noisy streets of a grey city a wicked laugh came from the shadows."

The sheer brilliance was overwhelming

" A match was struck, making a red and yellow glow like a lit match in the gloom. Scrubbpot the rat cackled again and grinned at the thought of his plan to get rid of the humans and take over the world. 'They don't know whats coming.' Scrubbpot chuckled wickedly, ' No, they don't know what's coming.' Scrubpot was a wicked rat and he was chuckling because he knew the humans didn't know what was coming."

I paused. Something wasn't quite right. I continued reading

"As Scrubpot was still chuckling, he was interrupted by the sound of beeping from very far away. In a small, small room in a tiny city an extra small alarm clock was beeping annoyingly. This sound also reached the sharp ears of a person. Not a human person nor a person person, this person person was a rat person."

"Mrs Topembob the rat person walked frustratedly into the dusty, untidy room of her fat son. He was a lump of fur and lard and he was snoring like a steam train which had just consumed a rather large, sea sick elephant."

I looked at my masterpiece and a feeling of unspeakable horror grew in the pit of my soggy, cheese sandwich filled stomach, " Why aren't you as good as I remember yesterday?" I  said and tears began brimming in my eyes.

My masterpiece was silent

 At this rate I wasn't as good as Roald Dahl or even Dickens

Time past and I began actually trying to learn things. I Googled writing tips from authors I admired and read books on plot and structure. "Make your characters like finely ground fertilizer through pages of pain and suffering." said one "Show, don't tell." said another, whatever that meant. Slowly but surely, as the years turned and I absorbed the collected wisdom of my heroes, I began to slightly improve. Through this slow journey of improvement, I grew something which was before completely unknown to me. I developed humility. My descriptive prose and story arch hadn't made anyone put classic novels through a shredder and I wasn't rolling Scrooge McDuck style in piles of glittering money or being chased by screaming hordes for my autograph, but that was o.k.

I was just being me 

 I think this is what we should all try to do, not just in writing but in life as well.  Sure being famous for writing a best selling novel wouldn't be too bad...

But as writers, this definitely shouldn't be our motivation. Our motivation should stem from the sheer beauty and splendor which writing awakes, the thrill as trembling pen sets to crinkling paper and fantasy kingdoms from our dreams and imaginings take shape and unfold. The joy of pure creation. 

And also because its fun  

There is a reason why I made this post. Usually I like to keep my stories and articles at least loosely connected to heart disease and chronic illnesses but this time I wanted to talk about something very special to me. I find Writing to be incredibly therapeutic, its one of the main reasons why I started this blog. Writing fills a need within me, it completes something which I can't explain. I now know that I will never have the genius of Shakespeare or the descriptive beauty of Tolkien or the quirkiness and originality of Roald Dahl but I don't need to. 

I'm doing something which makes me happy

And in the end, that is all a writer or any of us needs 

-  the-average-cyborg-girl

Quote of the week

This week's quote is from the incredible Stephen Hawking 

"However difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at." 

Comparing Ourselves To Others

Last week I was spending some time on Facebook when a photo caught my eye

It looked very similar to this


The person in the picture just seemed so... perfect 

She had giant eyes like a Disney princess, poofy red lips, squillions of devoted friends and shiny chestnut hair that framed her perfectly symmetrical, unblemished features. 

“I wish I was looked that.” I remember saying to myself. I gave my Burmese Kitten a sad sort of pat and kept scrolling down the page.  

It didn't take long until I came across another photo 

I studied it for a while, comparing myself to the face staring up at me from the computer screen. 

I felt so inferior 

I just wished I could be like that girl. I wished I wasn't me.  

The next photo I saw was of a group at a party

 I was sure that none of them had six monthly check ups at a pacemaker clinic or had to deal with low blood pressure, the death of a sister or having Cardiomyopathy. They had makeup and nice shoes and skirts and happy smiles. It felt like I was different in every way. 

I was jealous, really jealous, also I felt terrible about myself. In my mind it was like each photo was sending a message



Even though it seems like it, I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. At some point or another we all feel like this. There is always going to be someone who looks prettier, has more friends, is more talented or gets better marks on exams. Comparing yourself to others just brings sadness and the feeling of being worthless. 

I know

So what should we do? Should we smash all mirrors, permanently logoff Facebook and avoid all cameras and popular people on the street? 

It really all comes down to a choice 

And its hard. Really hard. Really, really hard.  And I'm really bad at doing it. So bad that I've felt like I ginormous hypocrite for even making this post. 

We need to stop comparing ourselves to others

Happiness can never be found though putting ourselves down. Happiness does not come from comparisons. I've repeatedly told myself that I wished I was normal, that I wished I was just like everyone else. I have thought that normality was something desperately to aspire, something that I needed to have. But trying to be "just as good as" the beautiful people in the photos was not what I needed. 

I needed self-acceptance and love

And that’s what we all need 

Why should what we look like or how many friends we have determine our self-worth anyway? 

 A couple of years ago I helped out on a disability camp. A lot of people on the camp couldn't walk or feed or shower themselves. The thing that I remember the most from the camp was the attitudes of the people there. They were just so incredibly happy. One of the campers in particular had an impact on me, we were sitting under a tall gum tree and it was a bright day with the wind making the leaves rattle above us and he said something which I will always remember.

 "You know." he said in a slow, laboured voice while he looked up at the clouds. "If you look around, God has given us everything we need." He smiled and got up, perfectly content, his left leg dragging slightly behind him. I kept completely still, back resting against the rough bark of the tree. I continued watching him as he walked away and noticed that he was trying to skip, just as if he was a young boy who thought that there was nothing wrong in the world and who knew neither pain nor disability. 

Why can't we be like that, why can't I be like that? 

We look at others and try and change ourselves, we try and become like that photoshopped model in the magazine or the girl with all the friends at school. Wouldn't it be amazing if we were like that beautiful disabled man who told me something life changing one day under a tree? 

I think we can, all it comes down to is a choice. A choice to remember it’s the inner flame, not the crumbling exterior that matters, the choice to know that we're not perfect but to choose to be happy anyway. 

The choice to stop comparing ourselves to others 

To quote Eleanor Roosevelt, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."  

I think there's a lot of truth in that 

- the-average-cyborg-girl

Quote of the week

This week's quote is from one of my favourite authors, the marvellous Roald Dahl.


“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

― Roald Dahl

New Blogging Schedule!

Instead of blog posts appearing randomly on The Average Cyborg, I've decided to do something which goes against the very fabric of my nature.

I'm going to make a blogging schedule!

The lucky days are...

*Drum Roll*

Wednesday and Saturday!


So remember to check back on The Average Cyborg for you proper dose of crazy

- the-average-cyborg-girl

The post where I do some shameless self promoting...

This is just a quick news flash to say...

 Come like The Average Cyborg's Facebook page!

It will give you constant updates and links to new posts and pictures.

(I told you the self promo would be shameless)

A new post coming up soon! 

Thanks for stopping by 

-  the-average-cyborg-girl

I be a philosopher!

I'm now a philosophy student! Hooray!

This is what I imagined studying Philosophy would be like...

This is how it actually is 

This sums up my first few weeks of university

- the-average-cyborg-girl 

Its that time again, Quote of the week!

Saturday, the special day of the week when I post a quote from an inspiring person.

This week's quote is by the amazing Nick Vujicic

“... to keep moving up ... , you have to abandon the security of that ledge and reach for another hold. Letting go of that sense of security.. is the challenge. ... think of yourself as climbing a ladder. To move to the next rung, you must give up your grip and reach for the next one.” 

Nick VujicicLife Without Limits

Really inspiring!

Who do you think I should feature next week? Comment below

Thanks for reading this week's quote from The Average Cyborg, hope to see you again soon :)

-  the-average-cyborg-girl

I am cranky

Yesterday I was pondering deeply my past and present situation within this complex and vast earthly existence which we call life and I have come to the ground breaking and need I say soul changing conclusion that everything we experience, whether good or bad is relative.

 The eloquent title of this new post is, "I am Cranky", I now will inform you as to why 

I can't login to my subject for Online University and its driving me bananas 

 I may have a few tiny little insecurities about failing because I was bullied at school and yes, I will probably be about two weeks late starting my studies. 

but that's o.k
Its easy to focus on the negative things in life. Its easy to forget the positive in a storm of hospital visits and non-communicating University staff and frustrating events that drive you up the wall.

 I often find myself crying out "Woe is me, my life is just like those children from Lemmony Snicket's  'A Series of Unfortunate Events', except as far as I know my parents aren't part of a secret organisation and I'm not being chased around by a creepy, one eyebrowed man with a tattoo on his left ankle."

Everything is relative

To be completely honest sometimes I've felt bitter about having Cardiomyopathy, especially at such a young age. But then I remember there are small children with the disease, babies even. Who am I to complain when I think about it like that?

I have so much to be thankful for

 I have a wonderful family who love me, I have a heart which is slowly improving, I have the best cat in the entire world, a beautiful place to live in with wide open spaces with lots of sheep and a defibrillator that doesn't look like some of the scary pictures on Google images ( tip - don't look at these before an implanting operation, not recommended) 

It may not seem like it sometimes (a lot of the time) but the positives really outweigh the negatives in life. 

I'm still really annoyed that I haven't been able to begin studying on time but as I reflect on it, maybe if I everything went smoothly and I was reading Philosophy textbooks and asking questions on the forums I wouldn't have thought about this at all. 

We need to understand that while our lives can seem  absolutely terrible at moments, there is always someone out there doing it tougher than us. All we need to do is open our eyes and see. This is something I need to understand better, I think we all do. 

Thanks so much for reading another post from The Average Cyborg! 

Come visit again soon

P.S If you liked this post remember that sharing is caring :)